Mommy Mondays: The Bionic Woman

Despite the title of this post, I'm sorry to say that I am, in fact, human. Today, however, I'm feeling a bit like an android thanks to all the lovely electrodes taped to my torso and the decorative gray fanny pack resting on my hips.

It's not a big deal - I have an arrhythmia that John has been bugging me to get checked out for ages (okay, for three years; I don't think it's a coincidence I developed palpitations right after Jack was born). Since we're in Moscow and have access to decent medical care, now seemed like as good a time as any to see a cardiologist. Of course, I wasn't counting on having to wear a holter monitor for twenty-four hours, or have an ultrasound of my chest (which is a lot like having an ultrasound of your abdomen, except it's on your boobs. Good times.) at a Russian hospital. The ultrasound was normal and I'm sure my arrhythmia isn't anything to worry about. Still, it's a little awkward trying to hide this lovely get-up under work attire.

(I was going to include a photo of myself wearing the monitor, but then I thought maybe that wasn't what I wanted to pop up in a Google image search for my name.)

Even now, as I glance down at my keyboard, I see five colored wires hanging out from under my sweatshirt. How special! If for some reason something does turn out to be wrong with me, I'll be sure to let everyone know, and provide an address so you can all start sending me those care packages you just haven't gotten around to mailing yet.