Monday, June 24, 2013

Mommy Mondays: A Friendly Reminder

Have you ever noticed how life has a way of crushing you back down to size whenever you're feeling just a little too cocky?

You know, like when you're having a particularly good hair day and you're wearing a cute new outfit, and you're strutting down the street feeling pretty darn good about yourself, when you trip and flail like a Fraggle and have to limp the rest of the way to your destination?

Or when, for example, you've just reached 70,000 words in your MS, your husband has been out of town for a few days but you are doing just fine without him, thank you very much, and you have even managed to arrange a coffee meet-up with your two single male friends so that you don't spend your entire day in the company of a demented three-year-old who has been running around in circles yelling "I'm a mosquito!" for the past two hours. You've managed to squeeze in a shower and slap some makeup on your face, you've stuffed your child full of chocolate and ice cream so that you can have an intelligent conversation without interruption, and then you glance over and notice that your child is staring at his crotch with a bewildered look on his face.

And then you realize he has just peed on a fabric sofa in the ONE PLACE in all of Russia you feel comfortable enough to go and write on a regular basis; the very couch on which you normally sit, in fact. And all this just a few minutes after telling your two single male friends that your kid is doing great with the potty training (aside from the whole pooping thing). And as you are praying that the earth will open up and swallow you whole so you don't have to face the poor Russian waiter who is staring at your child's wet pants and the spreading damp spot on the lovely couch, your kind male friends say, "It's okay. It happens," even though you're pretty sure they have just decided they will never be having children. Ever.

So that was MY friendly little reminder from the universe that I do not in fact have my act together and probably never will. Anyone else receive a karmic slap across the face recently?

(And for the record, Jack didn't seem to experience any of my humiliation. He looked up at me, smiled, and said, "It's okay, Mommy. It's just an accident." Sigh.)