First, an update: After I posted last week I received a rejection from an agency I wasn't expecting to hear from, so now I have a total of 8 rejections. Just to make myself feel better I queried another agency, but they're pretty big so I'm not counting on anything. I guess I'm getting desperate, because last Friday my boss essentially told me that if I don't put Jack in day care, I don't have a job.
If money were no object, I would quit immediately. I always told myself that I wouldn't put my baby in day care, and I certainly don't love this job enough for it to be worth it (I barely like it, truth be told). But losing my income, even if it is piddly, would make for a significant lifestyle change for us, and I'm just not ready to go there. I was so stressed about money before I had this job, and I don't want to have to feel guilty every time I buy Jack an outfit or go to Target. So I have sort of worked out a schedule, and we'll see how it goes.
Starting next week, Jack will go to day care from 10 to 4 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I really don't think he'll have a problem being there. My biggest fear is that he'll get sick a lot, which will just make everything harder for me. Hopefully his little immune system will be up to the challenge. Of course, I also have to commute to Quantico two days a week now, which is a pain in the butt. I'm also going to be spending $48 a week on day care and extra money on gas, so frankly I feel like a raise is in order. I might broach that next week, we'll see. It's been over a year so I feel like I'm due for one anyway.
My only hope is that something will happen with my book in the next couple of months, and I'll be able to quit my job and focus on my writing. I might even have Jack stay in day care for three or four hours twice a week so I could really get some work done, assuming he likes it and does well there. Not hearing from the agents is the most frustrating thing imaginable. I'm particularly nervous about the partial I sent nearly two months ago (although it did take 2 months to get a request for a full from another agency). I have this awful feeling that if the agent was really interested, they'd have gotten to it by now, but I just need to be patient. I just hate that I had to make this decision - I'd really hoped back when I got pregnant that I'd never have to work after Jack was born, and here he is almost 10 months old and I've been working the whole time.
I guess there's nothing else to do at this point but pray for a miracle...