Writing Wednesdays: The Doldrums

Here I am. Once again. In the querying doldrums.

I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about (right?). Querying is always a waiting game, but every couple of months I feel like I hit a lull even more lullish than the normal lulls. I am in one such lull right now. I have four fulls out (yay!) and a few outstanding queries. I know I should be sending more queries out, but I really want to hear from at least one of those four agents before I move forward.

This is not my first rodeo. I should know better by now. Hearing from agents does not generally make any difference (unless it's an offer of representation, which I have obviously never experienced). Even if the agent is kind enough to provide a few lines of feedback (which in my experience is rare), that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to make big sweeping changes to your novel before you query again. Really, you're just wasting time and steam by not querying further. So why do I allow myself to drift aimlessly in the querying doldrums?

That's a damn good question. I think it's partly to do with the fact that a small, still-hopeful part of me is praying that I don't NEED to send any more queries, that one of the requests is going to be it, and I don't have to put myself through any more rejection than I already have. I think it's partly exhaustion. Querying is hard work, as you all know. And I think it's partly fear that there WILL be more rejection if I send more queries.

I know I need to move past this. And I know that eventually I will. Rejection - painful as it is - is also a really good kick in the pants. Forward momentum is coming, one way or another. I just need to grab my oar and start paddling.